Results tagged ‘ 2012 ’

Looking into the Mets Crystal Ball

Those who go by the Mayan calendar may believe that the world will end on December 21, but I go by a different calendar: the Mets calendar. The Mets calendar says that pitchers and catchers report on February 20, approximately 50 days from now.

So while football season may be over for the Jets fans out there (myself included), we can turn to our beloved Mets, and figure out ways that they will break our hearts this season. Or will they surprise us? Keep reading to see what Miss Cleo (or I guess it would be Miss Jessica) thinks.

The Mets will finish in last place next season. Lets face it. The other teams in our division have made measures to improve the team. What have the Mets done? We let Jose Reyes go to a divisional rival and traded Angel Pagan for the guy that punched Shane Victorino to start the Phillies/Giants brawl. We’re gonna need that guy because we’ll all want to punch Shane Victorino by the end of season. The loss of Jose Reyes marks the biggest loss of a homegrown product since Darryl Strawberry said deuces to the Mets in 1990. The Mets went on to have a losing record for the next six seasons. That doesn’t look good for the guys in orange and blue.

David Wright will not be a Met on July 31. And the tears of thousands of Met fans ring quietly in my ears. As much as I hate to admit, I think this move would be more about the Mets saving $16 million than about David Wright himself. Assuming moving in the walls at Citi Field does the trick for Mr. Wright’s offensive slump, I expect him to be back to 2007 form. 2008 David Wright would be too much to ask of the Baseball Gods. But another injury would prevent David from going on the trade block. Paging Matt Cain!

The Wilpons will not sell the team. It seems like they’re already having a hard time getting minority stake holders. I guess a business card that says “owner” doesn’t appeal to potential stakeholder. I can accept the Mets being a moneyball team as much as the next fan, but Sandy Alderson has nothing to build a better team with. One of the basic rules of business is that you can’t sell the product if nobody’s biting. That goes for both the minority stake and the product on the field.

R.A. Dickey will make it to the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro without incident. The Mets threatened to void Dickey’s contract if he gets hurt on the climb. We need R.A. Dickey, so I’m hoping he gets to the top of that mountain.

Johan Santana will pitch for the Mets at some point in the season. He’s gonna throw the ball. I’ll be damed if we pay him like $17 million to be hurt for the entire season. We could use that money to pay Bobby Bonilla!

Mike Pelfrey’s tongue will distract me. If being the de facto ace of the Mets doesn’t pan out (like it hasn’t so far), Mike Pelfrey has a second career as the frontman of a KISS tribute band.

Lucas Duda will have a big season. The season Ike Davis was supposed to have last year will be Lucas Duda’s season this year. Except for the part where Ike collides with David Wright. We can skip that part. Because I still don’t understand how it happened.

Daniel Murphy will become the new milk carton boy. Poor Murph doesn’t have a place on the team. I mean, he only plays like every position IN ADDITION to batting third. I suppose Murph either becomes the starting second baseman or he becomes the milk carton boy. I hope he doesn’t become the milk carton boy.

Banner Day will be awesome. Because it will be. ‘Nuff said.

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